I like blues. And since yesterday – I like rainy days.
The second statement came as a revelation to me. I have always, as far as I remember my grown up life, yearned for the sun and the warmth. I had never been happy on a rainy day, ever. If it’s raining, it means there is no sun, the sky is gray, I’m stuck inside or, if I do need to go somewhere, I’m likely to get wet. Yuck.
I know what you are thinking: ‘Change your attitude, girl!’. But let me tell you something – you telling this to me does not make any difference. I have to come to that conclusion myself.
Ever since I started working again, after my daughter was born, my everyday life is a constant state of rush. I rush in the morning, I rush at work, I rush in the evening. I don’t stop. I can’t stop. I got about a million things to do every given moment! Even on my days off, I cram so many things to my ‘to do’ list, that I end up exhausted at the end of it.
You get the picture, right?
Yesterday something clicked. It’d been raining since the morning and I was at home with my daughter. When we cuddled up on the couch, watching the rain through the window, I realized that I thoroughly enjoyed the moment. I did not need to rush anywhere and I just sat there, watching, having my daughter close to me. I suddenly wanted more rainy days in my life, so I could have more peaceful moments like that.
The revelation came from within, so it’s natural and acceptable to me. It’s not forced upon, even when it comes from the friends and family with the best intentions.
Talking about changing one’s attitude, you do know I love movies. Recently I had made a (conscious) decision to stick to the movies based on true stories. These I enjoy the most and I tend to learn from them. These often show important reminders about life, and I appreciate that.
‘The only power we have in this life is our perception of life’ (Brian Banks).
‘2 prisoners look out from a cell. One sees mud, the other sees stars’.
How well I understand this now.
How well Beno understood this.
‘How can you be happy if you are so poor?’ – I tried to understand it. He grew up with nothing.
‘I’m just a poor nigga’, – he used to often tell me. Yet in my eyes, he had the ability to live life, no matter how hard, to the fullest. And that made him richer than most. Still, it bugged me, as I was not able to have the same perception of life. So I kept asking him. ‘How can you smile and be happy?’.
‘If I was miserable, I would still be poor’, – he told me. He chose to be happy.
Which brings me to the following question – which one of us wants to get old? Certainly not me. Never! But listen to this: ‘One day you will also get old. If you are lucky’.
How many young ones die? Is living well into the old age so much worse than the alternative – dying young? Beno died, and he does not get to see his beautiful daughter every day. He does not get to spend precious moments with her. He gets nothing.
And that’s the attitude of gratitude, acquired on a rainy day.
