‘Have you got any friends?’
That came from a new acquaintance about a week ago. I found the question a bit strange. Who doesn’t have friends? Of course I do!
But maybe there are people among us who are alone – be it by their own choice or not. Besides, how many true friends have I actually got?
I am lucky to say that I have friends all over the world: from the Americas to Europe to Asia and Australia.
How about Africa? Not exactly, not yet. Stay tuned.
The best kind of friends – the ones you don’t have to talk to every day, but you always feel the connection and pick up where you left off.
My circle of friends is not stagnant, it keeps changing. When I needed them most, there were only certain friends that I wanted to turn to. But others, for whatever reason, I wanted to stay away from.
At first that surprised me. We were good friends, there were no issues between us. But I felt like running as far as possible from them.
Then somebody told me: ‘You have to lose some friends to make space for new ones’.
That’s true.
Good friends come through in the most unexpected ways.
I got a friend living in Cambodia. He writes poems. When I needed it, this one poem of his made me cry day and night, thus slowly making the darkness around me lighter:
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP
Beneath a simple pine box cover,
Forever missing my lover,
I lay watching grassroots grow,
Resting peacefully six feet below.
It is another wet and rainy day;
Standing by my grave,
You are the one my heart craves,
With folded hands I begin to pray.
It is difficult for you to maintain,
Tears which you cannot contain;
This is beyond my control,
Only your soul can truly console,
Tears fall in between rain drops,
Teardrops and flower tops,
Tears here, there and everywhere,
Yet I can only helplessly stare.
I cannot even dry your salty tears
Or share your everyday fears,
I cannot put my arms around you,
Or lay this body beside you.
Yes, dear, I hear you, I miss you too,
It is cold and lonely without you,
But you are not so far away,
You have come to see me today.
– Utopia Urnsberg
I find this poem utterly beautiful and feel like my friend wrote it just for me. He did it before it happened and he was miles away, yet it found me and stuck with me.
Which brings us to losing friends.
Have you ever been put in the friend zone by the one you loved? Have you ever been said that ‘Baby, let’s just be friends’ line? It is the most disappointing thing ever when you are at the receiving end.
However, just recently I was the one delivering those words. It sucked. The guy vanished the next day.
I can’t dwell on it, though, – nothing lasts forever. I lost a friend, but I gained back my peace of mind. And that stranger around the corner may just be my next best friend, waiting to happen.