My second time

Published: January 27, 2021 / Updated: February 2, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Good

What if I had not gone back to the States the second time? Would I have found (and got to keep) my real love? Would I have seen more of the world? Would I have gone through less pain?

No point in asking myself that, I know. Still, I wonder. If I had not gone back, would I still be exactly where I am today? You know, some people believe that you can walk the straight line or you can walk in circles, but eventually you reach the point where you should be, no matter how long it took you to get there…

My second time in the States was very different from my first one. As different as the winter is from the summer, literally, as I went back to Petoskey in the month of January. And the Chef was not there.

It’s not that I didn’t know what real winter was about. I did, having grown up in Eastern Europe. I just never knew what it meant to spend a winter in Michigan. Luckily enough I had the perfect job for the season – working in a bakery shop. The smell of freshly baked bread and cookies and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee was just what I needed to forget 3 feet of snow outside. I loved working there. The customers were always happy and grateful for a delicious bite to eat. I was happy decorating endless trays of smiley face cookies. Our neighbors were happy with a half a dozen or so donuts I’d bring home to them at the end of the day… When I grow up, I’d like to have a bakery shop just like that.

My man with the brown eyes had moved down south, where his mom was living at the time. I couldn’t follow him straight away after arriving, I had to stay in Petoskey for a little while. I missed him a lot, but we frequently talked on the phone and I knew that soon enough I’d get to see him. In the meantime, I got to experience the joys of winter with a bunch of local boys. Cinema at the mall, movie nights in, riding snowmobiles out in the fields.

I was having loads of fun, but the time came when I couldn’t, I just couldn’t be without my Chef any longer. I bought a bus ticket from Petoskey, MI to Savannah, GA, and said goodbye to my friends. I boarded the bus to unknown, yearning to get there as fast as I could.

He was waiting at the bus terminal, just like he said he would be.

American boy

Published: January 25, 2021 / Updated: January 25, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Good

Take me on a trip, I’d like to go some day
Take me to New York, I’d love to see L.A.
I really want to come kick it with you
You’ll be my American boy, American boy

– Estelle (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Hvrr2tpDQ)

It started with me getting the same days off as him. Later – a trip to the farmers’ market, then a lunch, finally a trip to the beach. ‘Vilma, will you be my girlfriend?’ – he asked me after a few dates. I couldn’t say no to the American boy!

He was in his early 30s. I had just turned 21. I was mesmerized by the chef. He was tall and had hazel eyes. And I had always been a sucker for the shades of brown, having blue (albeit out of this world) eyes myself.

He moved quietly, like a cat. I could never hear him approach me. I loved watching him work. Sure, he kept the cooks on their toes and bossed the dishwashers around. But he also prepared delicious meals effortlessly. He ruled the kitchen.

My English wasn’t so great back then. ‘Stop calling me a chief, Vilma. I’m a chef, not a chief’, – he told me after a few mispronunciations. Oopsie daisy!

‘Mom, I’m just chilling on the beach with Vilma’, – he once said while talking on the phone. Chilling? Was he cold? Did he mean I was cold? What did he mean? I couldn’t stop wondering… At the end of the day, I was in the States to improve my English, and it seemed that was much needed indeed.

Just like that our relationship was progressing. We got to spend more and more time together and a couple of gifts came my way. A hanging pot of the most beautiful blue flowers. A mix tape CD (remember those?). And I honestly believe I got double portions of dessert for lunch every day.

However, the summer (THE summer) came to an end. I packed my bags (had to buy some extra ones for the extra goodness to bring back home) and boarded the plane again. Back in my home country, I continued my studies. Mostly, though, I listened to the mix tape CD over and over again and kept telling my sister that, of course, I was fine and was not in love and didn’t even think about going back to the States.

This is what gets me confused. If I want something really bad, should I do everything in my power to get it? Or should I just let it be, and if it happens, it was meant to? How much of where I end up depends on my own actions, and how much – on the mysterious ways on the universe? The world is divided into ‘it was meant to be’ believers and ‘I’m going for it and nothing can stop me’ achievers.

I really really wanted to go back to him. So I did everything to make that happen: I pushed, I begged, I embellished the truth. I needed to see the chef again!

My first time

Published: January 18, 2021 / Updated: January 18, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Good

What’s your most memorable summer?

Mine is the one I got to spend in Petoskey, MI. The summer of many firsts.

Eager to see the world I listened to Kristina’s advice (https://restlessinlove.com/kristina/) and packed my bags for the summer. USA it is. I put a smile on my face to last 3 entire months and boarded the plane. Here goes my first time!

I remember walking the streets of Chicago where I had my training and not believing that I was there. Amazing! A couple of days later I arrived to my destination. I loved Petoskey. Thinking about it I probably would have loved any place in the States. I was abroad for the first time and that’s all that mattered. Petoskey had the best fudge around. For someone who’s addicted to chocolate that was heaven. There was the lake, there were huge malls (way to spend those tips, right, girls?), there was freedom.

I had a job as a housekeeper (here goes the first one again!) at Stafford’s Perry hotel (https://www.staffords.com/)

And so did my friends. We cleaned rooms during the day and took shifts in the kitchen in the late afternoons. Officially a salad girl, I spent more time licking bowls with remaining brownie mix than preparing actual salads. I was always up for running into the walk-in fridge to get whatever was needed, as I could quickly swallow a piece of chocolate on my way out.

We worked really long hours. At the end of the day we would be exhausted. But that’s not what I remember the most. I remember my friends. I remember lying on the cool grass, staring at the sky, and just sharing the moment.

For the longest time, living back home, I’d been dreaming of becoming a WAG. My country didn’t do bad in basketball. Actually, our players were quite good. I was into tall, athletic and handsome men, who travelled all over the world and made loads of money. ‘Have you found yourself a basketball player yet?’ – my sister asked me during one of my phone calls home. She knew all about my dreams, of course. ‘No, I found myself a chef’ – I told her.

Times before Tinder

Published: January 11, 2021 / Updated: January 11, 2021 Vilma Before it all started

‘Don’t do it. Don’t search for love. Let it come to you’ – said my friend from the UK, aka London Boy.

Dating apps – be gone!

Now don’t be too quick to judge me. I’ve heard stories about people finding true love on Tinder. Not sure those stories are real, though. But they do exist. So, who knows, I gave it a try.

Times before Tinder were different. There was much more creativity and leg work involved. Take me in high school, for example. My first serious boyfriend (who knew how give me a half decent kiss) was a senior. I was just a regular 15 or so year old and had to stand out from the crowd, right? My plan of action was simple. Every day I would check out his schedule. The list for all the classes was updated every day so everyone could make sure they found themselves in the right classroom at the right time. So if my later boyfriend had an algebra class on the third floor, I was sure to go up there and trot my pretty self along the third floor hallways on that particular break. If his next lesson was arts, I’d sure find a reason to pass his classroom on the first floor a few times. With purpose, of course…

It worked! A couple of weeks later he appeared out of nowhere by my side after one of the school discos and asked: ‘Do you mind if I walk you home?’. Of course I did. I minded very much it took him so long to approach me.

And so it started. Walks to and from school together (remember the legwork I mentioned? Here you have it). Luckily enough he lived just few streets down from me, so it kind of made sense to walk together. He would carry my backpack with books, he’d help me with my gym bag. He’d secretly put a bar of chocolate in my bag and I’d find it later at home. He got me addicted, I’m not kidding. Later on I only wanted him to walk me home so I could dive into my chocolate.

All I remember from that Christmas is him meeting me for an hour or so and me finding my pockets full of candy once I got back home. Sweet boy. A few months later I heard he had gotten his new girlfriend pregnant. And I felt like the lucky one who got away.

Still, I remember our walks. I remember our kisses. I remember the chocolate.

Besides having a boyfriend for a brief period of time, my high school years were quite… ordinary and calm. No sneaking out, no trying out a cigarette behind the house. I was all into writing, ballroom dancing and studying English.

A time came when I needed to make a choice – to continue dancing or to continue studying English. I chose the latter. Without good enough language skills I couldn’t have participated in the student exchange program that got me to visit the USA.

Kristina

Published: January 4, 2021 / Updated: January 4, 2021 Vilma Before it all started

I watched ‘Soul’ a few days ago. You know, the one from Pixar. I really liked it. Especially the part with the cat, as it made me laugh so hard! But alright, I won’t tell you any more about it (sneak peak here, if you wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOsLIiBStEs), but I do recommend it, just like my good friend Karla recommended it to me (gracias, amiga!)

The message is clear. Live every day, every moment. Live now. It’s not something new that I never heard of before. But it got me thinking – am I so focused on finding love, that I miss out on it right here, right now? Love surrounds me in so many shapes and forms. We are all love. Still, I keep looking for it, intensely. I need love in my life. The love in the shape of a man and a partner.

Kristina.

It was all her fault. At least that’s what my sister thought. She even called her ‘a witch’ at some point.

Kristina is my best friend. Back then, almost 20 years ago, Kristina just gave me an advice. A smart one. A logical remark to my thoughts. ‘I’d like to go to France and practice my French’, – I announced while discussing countries for summer student exchange program one day close to the end of our third year at the university. ‘Vilma, you can go to France anytime. It’s so close. Better take this chance and go to the States’, – Kristina said. It all made sense. Studying in Europe and going for the summer to France was too… easy. It didn’t sound as adventurous or as exciting as working for the summer in the USA. Kristina had already been there and she knew what she was talking about.

Today Kristina remains my best friend, she is happily married and writes her own blog https://stampinpassport.com/ Her most memorable trip, in my eyes, was visiting me this past Thanksgiving, am I right, Kristina?

Back then though, young and innocent, we didn’t know much and certainly didn’t think our lives would take us where we are today. She found her love and it certainly wasn’t easy. I am still searching.

Welcome

Published: January 2, 2021 / Updated: January 4, 2021 Vilma Welcome

Looking for great tips on how to backpack through Latin America? You won’t find those here… Need relationship advice? Won’t find those here either…

What you will find is my story. It does involve a lot of travelling. It does focus on relationships and love. Laugh and cry with me, reach the highs and fall into the lows, learn from my mistakes, or not. Be here with me.