Life in NYC: the bad

Published: February 26, 2021 / Updated: March 1, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Bad

You know how everything in this life is temporary? Well, that sucks. If ‘forever’ doesn’t exist, why does the word?

Like I said, I’m not a huge movie fan. I enjoy watching them, but these days I can hardly find time to breath. So when I watch a movie and can’t stop thinking about it, I wanna recommend it to y’all. Sylvie’s love. That is the kind of love story I want to experience. Of course, life is unexpected and hardships are part of it, but at the end everything falls in its place: after the good and the bad, after the years of separation they find their happy ending. And I want mine.

NYC was definitely a place of happy beginnings.

It was the best place to do my wedding shopping, too. The dress had to be simple and sand color. Not white, not off white, not ivory. Sand. And I found just the right one in Soho. The shoes had to match the dress, and I found the perfect pair on the 5th Avenue. The rings had to be truly special, and The Diamond District was where we got them.

The chef was working long hours, of course, but the city kept me excited and the planning of our wedding kept me busy. It took me weeks to choose our invitations. We were planning to go back South to get married, so they had to reflect my love for the ocean. They had to be not too childish nor too business like. The color was also important. The end result was very ‘me’.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-4.png
The Chef
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Capture-5.png

Details like that kept me occupied. In my eyes, I was the best wedding planner.

Alas, after the highs, came the lows. Our new apartment witnessed so many screaming matches I was too embarrassed to look our neighbor in the eye. Our fights would get so bad I’d run away from home and wander the streets late at night with tears on my face.

In the middle of one fight the chef lit up all the wedding invitations on fire. Can you believe that?.. I ordered a new batch. The wedding ring that I kept in its box and admired every other day disappeared. I found out it was pawned and got it back. The chef got fired from his restaurant and our life in the city was due to end.

We were going back to HHI and I was pleased. The wedding on the beach was the wedding of my dreams and I found having to take more than one subway to reach the closest beach on Coney Island a real drag.

And so a year later we set off back South to get married. ‘But how about the fights? How about destruction and abuse?’ – you ask. Well, I told you, I was a master of closing my eyes and not seeing what I didn’t want to see. I remained the believer in the happy beginnings and happy endings.

Life in NYC: the good

Published: February 18, 2021 / Updated: February 22, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Good

My life in NYC was many things. What it wasn’t was ordinary and uneventful.

Our first place to live was a basement apartment. For those who are not sure what it is, imagine opening the building door and going down, instead of going up. Our one window was on the same level as the street. It was our place, however, and it was in Astoria, NY.

A couple of months later we moved into a much nicer one bedroom apartment (you had to go up the stairs to reach it) very close to the subway stop. Those who know anything about the city will understand the importance of this. Although most of the time the ride on the subway would make me nauseous and leave me grasping for air, having to walk just one block to get to it was very convenient.

The chef got hired at a restaurant in the heart of the city – The Sea grill at the Rockefeller center (now permanently closed). I wasn’t doing bad for myself either. I started at the same Rockefeller center working as a sales girl in a Christmas store. Later I got temporarily employed at the Teuscher (https://www.teuschernyc.com/ – the best job hands down in my ‘jobs all over the world’ career… I got to taste so many champagne truffles it was ridiculous. I’d even send packages to my family in Europe).

Finally I ended up at Tristan and America (https://www.tristanstyle.com/) steps away from the chef’s restaurant and the 5th Avenue. I got hired because… I had the most beautiful blue eyes! True story that, the one that still makes me smile today. The manager of the store was touching me quite a lot during the interview, but later he told me not to worry about it as he was gay! He admitted after some time that my eyes did the talking that day, and he was instantly captured by them. We became very good friends. Just like the city itself, our store was a great mix of races, nationalities and sexual orientations. And we all got along. We all belonged. That is what I loved about NYC the most.

The highs were truly high. I was going to the top rated restaurants, trying out tasting menus and enjoying champagne with gold. I was marveling the famous spots and museums the city had to offer. I was exploring the shopping venues and finding hidden gems of any cuisine in the world I dreamed of. Even the one from back home. And it was delicious.

Our love was blooming. Life in the city suited us. But just like Nelly Furdado in her song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pBo-GL9SRg), I’m wondering: why do all good things come to an end?

One night in HHI

Published: February 15, 2021 / Updated: February 15, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Good

Call me a believer in fairy tales. Tell me I watch too many rom-coms and don’t have a clue about what a real relationship is about. Whenever I meet a man (not too often during these pandemic times) and fall in love (way too often no matter what times) I always think THAT man is the one for me. And THAT relationship will last forever. I don’t even care so much about getting married. My dream is to be engaged with the most beautiful ring on my finger.

Talking about the ring, it wasn’t just one diamond. Mine had a set of three!

The chef asked me to go for a walk with him one night. As we approached his Jeep I found roses on my side of the seat and a lovely hand written card. At that instant I knew something big was about to happen.

We drove to the beach on our plantation. The chef had a picnic basket with him. This was like a dream. I’ll walk to the beach anytime, especially with the man I love. I adore the flowers and the picnics. This was perfect! We sat down on a blanket and the chef opened the basket. He took out a bottle of champagne, 2 flutes, and… a chocolate cake! Didn’t I say it was perfect? On top of the delicious looking cake I saw the words in red icing : ‘Vilma, will you marry me?’

I remember his face. Easy smile was playing on his lips and reflecting in his lovely brown eyes. ‘Yes!’ – I said. I didn’t think about it, not for a second. Of course I will marry this man!

He took out a white box. I opened it and saw the ring. He put it on my ring finger (it was too big so the middle finger had to do for the time being). We kissed. Now THAT is a beautiful fairy tale ending to my engagement story.

But the story is just beginning. The chef, now my fiance, loved New York City. He had lived there a few years ago and kept dreaming about going back. I had only read about The Big Apple in magazines and seen the skyline of the city in every episode of Friends (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108778/)

So after a few days and many phone calls to family and friends announcing the wonderful news, after never ending looks at my ring finger (I honestly just couldn’t stop looking!) we packed our bags and set off towards NYC.

Signs of trouble

Published: February 9, 2021 / Updated: February 13, 2021 Vilma Life in the USA: The Bad, Life in the USA: The Good

To be honest with you, all I want today is a day off. One day full of nothing but rest. Sure, a couple of massages would be great, a total makeover is recommended, some TLC is definitely needed. But as long as I don’t have to cook or clean, for a day, I’ll be happy.

Back then, at the age of 22, I was full of energy and my whole life was ahead of me. I arrived to Savannah, GA for the first time 17 years ago, and I remember to this day what the chef was wearing. Grey pants and grey shirt. Is it just me or it just sounds a bit too grey?! Today I am all into bold and bright colors, but back then it didn’t matter to me. I was only seeing the man underneath those clothes. My man.

The chef was living in Hilton Head Island, SC. I instantly fell in love with the place. The warm air, the green palm trees, the vast beaches…

As much as I enjoyed doing my own thing during the day and waiting for the chef to come home after work at night, I needed a job. If you are in a restaurant business you work long hours. I landed myself an easy job (http://www.redroof.com/) and started living the dream.

I’d often go to have dinner at the restaurant where my man worked (https://frankiebones.com/). We’d plan day trips on our days off and would generally fool around and have fun. I got to meet his family, too: his mother (a proud owner of a Corvette with a never ending supply of make up), mother’s boyfriend (younger than the chef and very much into motorcycles) and grandma (sweet old lady who used to have her restaurant business back in Michigan with her late husband). There were 2 brothers, one lived on the island and the other one out of state.

It all sounds like a dream, right? I was living with a hard working man who knew how to cook and always held my hand. A man who always answered: ‘Yeah, baby?’, whenever I called him: ‘Honey!’


However, signs of trouble started to pop up like flowers after the spring rain… There were rumors of sexual harassment back in Petoskey… There were whispers of drug use… There was money missing… There were trips in the middle of the night… Were these the signs of troublesome times to come? Yes. Was I ignoring them? Yes. To this day I am an expert of not seeing what I don’t really want to see.

A few months later we moved into his mom’s house. It made sense not to spend money on rent and help out with grandma, who was getting weaker by day. The house had 4 bedrooms and a pool inside! There sure was enough space for us all.

Just like that, I was living my life, having good times and successfully ignoring occasional bad times. Until one day I woke up with the diamond ring on my finger.