My mom gave him that nickname. ‘He looks like a real eye candy boy’, – she said as soon as she saw him the first time.

Before my mom got to come and visit me, a lot had happened. After the night where I got to dance with him at the bunker party for the first time, and after the same night when I made out not far from my house like I’ve never made out before, people I hardly knew would stop me in the street and say: ‘I hear you are seeing the eye candy boy’. Or: ‘I hear you are going out with him’. And I had to look up the difference between the two as I was getting confused!

I also got told: ‘I’m his best friend, you be nice to him’. And ‘I’m his ex, I hear you are dating’. Yes, the news was quick to spread. And at the beginning I’d still see the gardener once in a while, until he saw me gyrating (his word in the text soon after it happened) with the boy and told me he was backing away.

The eye candy boy was still a boy. He was 9 years my junior, imagine that! But he was gorgeous. He worked with his hands, and I always loved that in men. Somehow a man who spends all his day in front of a computer screen (no offence to all of you lovely friends reading this post) doesn’t appeal to me as much as a man who spends his day digging dirt, sometimes literally!

He liked to go out and had many friends, having grown up on the island. Going out with him I made new friends too and got a bit into the party scene. Don’t blame me, going to the pub after work or a disco on the weekend was and probably still is the thing to do in Alderney. Besides, his mom didn’t mind serving me a huge plate of delicious English breakfast on Sunday mornings.

We had a lot of fun. We would cook together, go exploring the local beaches, be lazy watching TV. I couldn’t complain. He made my life in Alderney so much more exciting.

Then my mom came for a visit. Bless her, she’s my hero. She took 3 planes but she made it alright. That’s when she saw the eye candy boy.

And that’s when the eye candy boy cheated on me. Remember the ‘I’m his ex’ comment? That’s right, with her. I admire him for coming out straight, but he couldn’t have chosen a worse moment. I was on a long walk with my mom when I received his text asking to see me. While my mom was admiring Longis bay, he broke my heart.

‘I slept with my ex last night’, he told me. I asked how it happened (he was drunk) and why it happened (he couldn’t give me the answer). So now just imagine me trying to hide my tears and keep a straight face in front of my mom. I couldn’t tell her…

There was a break, of course. Until he showed up on my doorstep with 3 pages of handwritten letter. I read and re-read and re-read those pages many times. The boy was crushed and punishing himself hard. I was crushed too, but seeing his regret made me believe we could get through this.

And although none of my other partners cheated on me or, shall I say, came out and admitted having done so, it always made me wonder. Can you truly forgive infidelity? Can you move on from the pain and let go? Could you see the bigger picture and call it a mistake?

I tried. But the trust was no longer there. Every night spent apart turned into an ugly guessing game. Doubts turned into blame. The relationship was over the moment he told me the truth.

Funnily enough when we decided to break up for good we had already booked our vacation in Canary islands. It was April and we desperately wanted some sun after the rainy and foggy winter. So we decided to still go together. Mistake! It was not fun having to spend two weeks sleeping in separate beds and kind of feeling like strangers. We had a past, so it was not so easy to let go. I remember the boy being in the shower when I decided to check his phone messages. Mistake! Girls, beware! Don’t go through somebody’s phone if you don’t want to find something you don’t like. Because you will. You shouldn’t even think about it, having all the trust in the world in your partner. But we were far from it and I got annoyed seeing him constantly checking his messages.

Lo and behold, the message was from the roofman’s ex/current girlfriend (I stopped trying to figure it out long before this happened), saying what a fantastic time they would have when he got back.

Eye candy boy, I ran away from the hotel room that night and waited for you to come and find me. But you never did.