‘Sleep’.
That is the answer I gave once when asked what was my favorite thing to do. And I was being serious, too. ‘Sometimes I sleep till one or two in the afternoon. And I love it!’, – I had gone on and on. I wish I could say the same today. Most of the time I wake up (but try to keep my eyes shut for as long as I can) before sunrise, just listening to the never ending chatter-box next to me.
The day after the wedding sleep was the last thing on my mind. My husband, used to getting up just before noon for a shift at the restaurant, also didn’t object to waking up at 4 am and setting off to Disney World in Orlando. We didn’t need beautiful beaches for our honeymoon. We had the wild beaches at our doorstep. We didn’t need tropical weather. We had plenty of sunshine in Hilton Head Island. I guess unconsciously we just wanted to have loads of fun and feel like kids one last time, before starting our life as a married couple, i.e. adults.
We came back from our honeymoon happy and in love. We were husband and wife, we were a union, standing strong. Except we weren’t.
All the signs of trouble re-appeared, after hiding temporarily in the shadows of the wedding. My husband lied to me numerous time. I remember him sneaking out in the middle of the night and re-setting the mileage button in his Jeep. I would know, too, as his lies were making me borderline paranoid. More than once he borrowed money which I never got to see, I only got asked to pay it back. I started to feel helpless and trapped. The more I moved, the more questions I asked, the more he lied, the tighter got the trap.
Fights continued. They had never stopped. We even had one on our wedding night!
One afternoon in the middle of the argument my husband just took off his wedding ring and threw it out of the car window while driving. I begged him to stop and searched the ground feverishly till I found it.
I gave my husband a video player (quite a novelty piece back then!) for Christmas, so he could watch his Star Wars movies. The chef was the biggest fan, even owned a Darth Vader‘s mask. But whenever I offered to watch an episode with him, he would find an excuse not to. I found it extremely odd and by then I was overly suspicious. I pressed and I pressed till he admitted he had sold it.
In the words of my most loved artist out there today, we all have our Expiration date:
But every woman has a day when she gets tired of the games
And she gets tired of being played like she’s a toy
She finds the strength to up and leave
And she wakes up and finally sees
That you ain’t nothin’ like a king, you’re just a boy
You’ve reached your expiration date, yeah
You’ve reached your expiration date
– Sammie
I soon would have reached mine.