I like blues. And since yesterday – I like rainy days. The second statement came as a revelation to me. I have always, as far as I remember my grown up life, yearned for the sun and the warmth. I had never been happy on a rainy day, ever. If it’s raining, it means there […]
Read MoreIf I die tonight
This has become part of my daily prayer. This is the reminder I tell myself late at night, stressed out about the worries of tomorrow. I shouldn’t be, right? Tomorrow may never come and we never know what’s around the corner. I know that better than some of us. And still, worry and stress are […]
Read MoreOut of the blue
I was not prepared for her question. Our summer had passed without major ups and downs. I’d say that we had finally settled in, a bit over a year after coming back to Europe. My daughter has friends, lots of them. I made friends, too. We are happy with the way our life is. Of […]
Read More(not only) mother
One day, when my daughter reads this, she will get to know her dad. My words will paint her many a picture. My blog will tell her many a story. She will get to know him well. She will also get to know me, her mother. What kind of mother am I? … I told […]
Read MoreIn a room full of strangers
When asked for an update, my friend Karla said: ‘I have a nanny. She comes once or twice a week. And I go to these meetings, where…’. I stopped listening as soon as I heard ‘and I go’. Me? I also go. I go places with my daughter or I don’t go at all. I […]
Read More(not) Gone
About a week ago I took ‘spring cleaning’ to a new level. I cleared my phone from all the long forgotten contacts, messages, pictures. In short, I deleted the numbers of all the boys I had had any contact with in the past few years. All but one. His number is safely tucked in under […]
Read MoreShort story
A couple of weeks ago. ‘You should invite me over,’– I write to him. You know that when it comes to getting what I want, I’m not the shy type. ‘Come over,’ – he agrees. Oh my god. This is finally happening. ‘Can I really come?’ – I have to make sure. I can’t afford […]
Read MoreIf I could read the world
What were you thinking about when you were 15? I was definitely not thinking about the problems in our society, the major issues affecting everybody in our world. Unlike Anne M. Frank, barely 15, who was writing in her diary, sometime at the beginning of the 20th century, about the sad reality of women being […]
Read MoreGrowing up
‘You are not like other parents’, – a mother of my daughter’s friend tells me. ‘But really, – I continue. ‘After not seeing her the whole day while I work, I can’t wait to pick her up from the kindergarten’. That is so true. It gets crazy sometimes, but every day I can’t wait to […]
Read MoreWe’re good, babe
I am not about the new year resolutions. But this year I have decided to make one. It is not the usual ‘I’ll start something this coming year’ resolution. It is ‘I’ll stop something this coming year’ resolution. In 2023 I will stop asking London boy to come and see me. Because I still do. […]
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