I’m sure by now you have all heard about the Oscars this year. The incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock reached even me (cheers, Kristina!), deep into the prep for my move back to Europe.
But no matter what you think of this moment and the behavior of the men above, you gotta admit – Will Smith was brilliant in King Richard.
‘If you fail to plan, you plan to fail’.
It’s not that we didn’t have a plan. Beno and I spent months getting ready for the trip to Europe. We had an appointment for his Shengen visa scheduled in London. We had his invitation letter written. All the papers were in order. We were so excited about the brighter future in Europe. Beno, having grown up in Belize and not been anywhere else besides Mexico, was especially looking forward to it.
But brighter future it wasn’t. The weeks that followed our flight to London were full of questions, frustration, tears, disappointment, chaos and sadness.
Beno did not need a visa to enter the UK at the time. Yet he was detained by the border security officers . Imagine us, happy as we could be, splitting up to form two security lines: me – for ‘Shengen area’, Beno – for ‘outside the Shengen area’. Imagine me almost reaching the officer, but quickly running to the other line as I sensed trouble. Imagine me being told they were taking Beno away for questioning, and I was free to continue my journey.
‘Welcome to Europe’, – announced the officer.
Say what?
Just like that, I was left on my own. I was told I’d be able to call a number in a while to get an update on the case. I believe I spent about 5 hours waiting. I have not felt this alone in my entire life. When I finally got to speak to somebody, I was asked an awful lot of questions about the purpose of Beno’s visit, his past employement, his future plans, his step by step itinerary. I admit, I was so shaken up that I forgot the entire plan. I mentioned bits and pieces, I kept telling them I was pregnant and Beno was the father of my baby, but the officers were not moved.
It got dark by the time I was told I could call a different number next morning for another update. At the rate this was going, I was not sure I wanted another update.
Dear god.
Now imagine me trying to figure out my way from the airport to my friend’s house. Imagine me dragging the heaviest backpack and some smaller bags with me to the subway. Imagine me swearing from the weight and wondering what this could possibly do to my baby. Imagine me telling some kids on the subway to please give me the seat as I was pregnant could no longer stand on my own two feet. Imagine me finally reaching the house of my friend and telling him the whole sorry story through the tears.
Imagine him saying: ‘Yes, Vilma, you should have come more prepared. They show cases like this on TV. You must have answers to all their questions’.
I didn’t have the answers.
I didn’t plan, and I failed.