Times before Tinder

‘Don’t do it. Don’t search for love. Let it come to you’ – said my friend from the UK, aka London Boy.

Dating apps – be gone!

Now don’t be too quick to judge me. I’ve heard stories about people finding true love on Tinder. Not sure those stories are real, though. But they do exist. So, who knows, I gave it a try.

Times before Tinder were different. There was much more creativity and leg work involved. Take me in high school, for example. My first serious boyfriend (who knew how give me a half decent kiss) was a senior. I was just a regular 15 or so year old and had to stand out from the crowd, right? My plan of action was simple. Every day I would check out his schedule. The list for all the classes was updated every day so everyone could make sure they found themselves in the right classroom at the right time. So if my later boyfriend had an algebra class on the third floor, I was sure to go up there and trot my pretty self along the third floor hallways on that particular break. If his next lesson was arts, I’d sure find a reason to pass his classroom on the first floor a few times. With purpose, of course…

It worked! A couple of weeks later he appeared out of nowhere by my side after one of the school discos and asked: ‘Do you mind if I walk you home?’. Of course I did. I minded very much it took him so long to approach me.

And so it started. Walks to and from school together (remember the legwork I mentioned? Here you have it). Luckily enough he lived just few streets down from me, so it kind of made sense to walk together. He would carry my backpack with books, he’d help me with my gym bag. He’d secretly put a bar of chocolate in my bag and I’d find it later at home. He got me addicted, I’m not kidding. Later on I only wanted him to walk me home so I could dive into my chocolate.

All I remember from that Christmas is him meeting me for an hour or so and me finding my pockets full of candy once I got back home. Sweet boy. A few months later I heard he had gotten his new girlfriend pregnant. And I felt like the lucky one who got away.

Still, I remember our walks. I remember our kisses. I remember the chocolate.

Besides having a boyfriend for a brief period of time, my high school years were quite… ordinary and calm. No sneaking out, no trying out a cigarette behind the house. I was all into writing, ballroom dancing and studying English.

A time came when I needed to make a choice – to continue dancing or to continue studying English. I chose the latter. Without good enough language skills I couldn’t have participated in the student exchange program that got me to visit the USA.

Kristina

I watched ‘Soul’ a few days ago. You know, the one from Pixar. I really liked it. Especially the part with the cat, as it made me laugh so hard! But alright, I won’t tell you any more about it (sneak peak here, if you wish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOsLIiBStEs), but I do recommend it, just like my good friend Karla recommended it to me (gracias, amiga!)

The message is clear. Live every day, every moment. Live now. It’s not something new that I never heard of before. But it got me thinking – am I so focused on finding love, that I miss out on it right here, right now? Love surrounds me in so many shapes and forms. We are all love. Still, I keep looking for it, intensely. I need love in my life. The love in the shape of a man and a partner.

Kristina.

It was all her fault. At least that’s what my sister thought. She even called her ‘a witch’ at some point.

Kristina is my best friend. Back then, almost 20 years ago, Kristina just gave me an advice. A smart one. A logical remark to my thoughts. ‘I’d like to go to France and practice my French’, – I announced while discussing countries for summer student exchange program one day close to the end of our third year at the university. ‘Vilma, you can go to France anytime. It’s so close. Better take this chance and go to the States’, – Kristina said. It all made sense. Studying in Europe and going for the summer to France was too… easy. It didn’t sound as adventurous or as exciting as working for the summer in the USA. Kristina had already been there and she knew what she was talking about.

Today Kristina remains my best friend, she is happily married and writes her own blog https://stampinpassport.com/ Her most memorable trip, in my eyes, was visiting me this past Thanksgiving, am I right, Kristina?

Back then though, young and innocent, we didn’t know much and certainly didn’t think our lives would take us where we are today. She found her love and it certainly wasn’t easy. I am still searching.