I feel like in these past couple of weeks I’d gone from zero to hero and become this femme fatale.

Mind you, it didn’t last long. Just a few days later I was back to zero. No!..

Here is what happened in between the two zeros.

As you well know, I’d been mopping around for the longest time, not getting any attention whatsoever from any man alive (the Walmart delivery man still keeps coming, bless him). When suddenly I seemed to have four (FOUR!) men (REAL!) in my life:

• London boy. Yes, that same one. I got to know him a year ago on bumble.com, when the pandemic was in full swing. And by ‘getting to know him’ I mean just that. We have never met in person… I call us (and he agrees) the modern day pen pals. He’s the one I was and still am infatuated with. I believe we are a match made in heaven and I know he is perfect for me. He, on the other hand, is on the flight to the USA to meet his new girlfriend as we speak, to get married and have babies. Still, he’s been a figure in my life for a year, which is a lot. I like talking to him and I’d call him a good friend. ‘You get on my nerves, I get on yours. That’s how it is, babe’ – being sweet and adorable is not his forte. Every time I see a missed video call from him (my phone is ALWAYS on silent), the message follows: ‘I didn’t mean to call’. It makes me smile. London boy doesn’t ‘do’ emotions. He always listens to his head. In my opinion, though, he should for once listen to his heart, come to Mexico and marry me!

• The guy from Belize. He’s been in my life for longer than London boy, close to two years now. Thanks to the social media we started talking while I was still in Europe and he visited me once I came back to Mexico a year and a half ago. He lives about an hour away from here so it was easy to see each other. But then just like that, he disappeared. I didn’t hear or see him again. Until very recently, when he came to see me again and I laid my head on his shoulders and just breathed. It felt good to spend an afternoon with a man who’s kind, caring and damn good looking.

• The traveler (with one l). We’d been on a date (thank you, tinder.com) a few months ago. It was very low key and that’s what liked about it. I didn’t have to worry about trying to impress him, it was like meeting an old friend. We had a great time laughing and sharing stories. And we keep in touch still, asking what each of us is up to every couple of days. He keeps travelling, so he moves from one place to another, but he’s still in Mexico. And he wants to see me again. ‘I really want to see you again. It would be nice at least to hold you in my arms’, – he says in his message.

• The Canadian guy. Remember how I told you I stopped using all the dating apps? I did, till I started using them again. What can I say, swiping right still gives me hope that one day… And one day this guy did not hesitate and asked to meet. I did not hesitate and asked where. We met twice and although going on both dates with a toddler is a very different story (please don’t ask to elaborate), I think he enjoyed it as much as we did.

Today everything is back to usual: the delivery man is due to bring my groceries today; London boy is sitting happily on the plane; Belizean guy has disappeared again; the traveler keeps traveling; the Canadian guy went back home. It was fun while it lasted and it felt good to feel wanted.

It also felt great to be reminded that I was an interesting person and a great company, all on my own. Sometimes I am genuinely surprised that people like me or that they want to spend time with me. That they miss me and want to see me again.

When I travelled with my Peruvian, he always was the center of attention. Mostly because of the language. My Spanish may be half decent these days, but it wasn’t when I started travelling. So I always held back and let him do the talking. He was smart and charming, so he had no problems making fast friends with people we met along the way. Me? I took a back seat and took my time. However, the people I connected with are my dear friends till today.

Travelling alone did lots of good for me. I couldn’t hide behind somebody else’s back. I held my conversations and shared my experiences. People got to know the real me. Sure, being on your own with two backpacks in tow brings its own hardships. Going to the bathroom is the trickiest part, when you need to drag all the stuff with you and squeeze it all into a tiny cubicle. And, I admit, I was never a light packer.

And so, as ending up on an old American school bus crossing the Mexican – Belizean border, I was starting a new chapter, that turned out into a magical story book.